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Seek Wise Counsel

In Channel713 by adminC713

LET’S DIVE RIGHT INTO THE NEW YEAR! Is it just me, or does the Black community seem to view marriage counseling as some sort of taboo? “We don’t need anyone telling us what to do! This is OUR marriage!” Yet, when OUR marriage ends in divorce, a JUDGE ends up telling us what to do anyway (how ironic!). The Bible advises that we seek wise counsel in Proverbs 11:14, “Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.”
The good news is that seeking wise counsel can save our marriages in the long run. As my friend, Michael Nelson, eloquently put it, “We experience our breakthrough as we work through.
I remember how exciting it was planning our wedding. Every cosmetic detail received special attention to ensure our day was perfect. But it wasn’t the planning for our wedding day that laid the foundation for what we have now almost 8 years later. It was the planning for our days AFTER the wedding. Tristen and I eagerly attended not 1…not 2…but 3 different marriage conferences, in addition to our counseling sessions. Overkill you ask? Well let’s just say that going into marriage without any formal counseling is like taking the bar exam without having studied and expecting to pass. Not wise!
You don’t have to wait until your marriage is on the rocks before seeking counseling. In fact, the best time to go is when things are going well and you just want a little tune-up.

1. PREPARE. First, come to agreement that seeking wise counsel is vital to the success of your marriage.
2. PLAN. Plan to attend at least 1 marriage conference, retreat or counseling session this year with your spouse. Doing this yearly, even better.
3. PARTICIPATE. You don’t have to be the life of the party, but do actively participate in the counseling session. Keep an open mind. Take notes. Learn something new.
4. PRACTICE. Put lessons learned to work as soon as you get home. Don’t save it for next week, next month…next year. Do it while everything is fresh on your mind.

There’s nothing like starting the new year with a clean slate and the exciting feeling of becoming a better person. Though most of us focus on improving in the external areas (i.e. complete degree, lose weight, save money, etc.) let’s challenge ourselves to spend an equal amount of time on improving our marriage.

Seek Wise Counsel in 2015.